Jesse, I Need Some Pants!
by SaltNPepper
Summary: James can't find his pants, and is forced to go through the day without them, surviving torture from his teammates and enemies.


  
Jesse, I Need Some Pants!  
By: Pepper of Salt*N*Pepper  
Detitcated to Spruceton Spook  
  
Author's note: Okay, I got this idea from the KisS dolls (they're pictures of Pokemon people that you can dress up on your computer) For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about I'm really, very sorry, but you don't need to know this crap to understand the story. Anyway, my friend Adrienne (a.k.a. Salt of Salt*N*Pepper)'s sister Jessie, (a.k.a. Spruceton Spook) and I were playing with these things, and we kept taking James' pants off and putting them in Jesse's hand. It was hysterical!!! Yes, this is the kind of life we all have…but anyway, enjoy the story that was inspired by that special moment!!   
  
James woke up one bright, sunny morning in a happy mood. He even began to hum as he made his bed. Still in his extremely tight silk Weezing boxers and white tank top, he walked out of the bedroom, and into the bathroom. Somehow, from somewhere, he whipped out a red rose and practiced saying   
"James!" in the mirror about a million times. When he was finally satisfied, he quietly walked passed Jesse's room and back into his own. James sat down on his bed and listened to the sound of rustling coming from the next room.   
"James! Are you up yet?!" He heard Jesse yell at him.   
"Yea!" James said stretching.   
"Well then what are you waiting for? Make some breakfast!" Jesse said, pulling on her long black boots.   
"Yea!!" James heard Meowth chime in. "I wanna get an early start capturing dat Pikachu ta-day!"   
"Okay, no need to be pushy now!" James replied as he quickly brushed his long lavender hair. He slowly took off his tank top and replaced it with a black T-shirt. Next he put the white half-shirt on, admiring the big capital "R" which he wore so proudly. Without looking he reached for his white pants, which to his surprise, weren't there. James searched the room, desperately trying to find his only pair of pants. The room was small, and didn't even have a closet. Only a bed and a small nightstand with a reading lamp were inside. James looked under the bed, and in the two small draws in the nightstand. The pants were no where to be found. James became so desperate, that he even looked under the lamp, but still had no luck.   
"James, we're becoming very annoyed with you!" Jesse said pounding on his door. "Come-on already!!"   
"Jesse, I-I can't go out today…" he called weakly.   
"What?! James we are NOT taking a sick day, just because YOU don't feel good!" "No, it's not that…" James replied.   
"Well then WHAT is it!!" Jesse screamed from the other side of the door. No answer. "That's it James! I'm sick of your crap… I'M COMING IN RIGHT NOW!!" Jesse slammed open the door. James sat in bed, his legs under the sheets. "Get out of bed!" she screamed. Threatening to hit him with her mallet.   
"Jesse I - I can't…" he said in a low voice.   
"Why ever not, James!?" Jesse yelled in a sarcastic tone.   
"Jesse…" James began, blushing very red. "I need some pants!" Jesse's face softened as she began to laugh, first a little giggle, then a loud wheezing sort of sound, and soon was rolling on the floor with uncontrollable laughter.   
"Wat's going on hea?" Meowth said watching the hysterical Jesse.   
"James… ….needs…….some pants!" She gasped between laughs. Meowth began to snicker as he saw James turn an even deeper shade of red.   
"It's not funny!!!!" he cried "They were my only pair!" This made Jesse and Meowth laugh even harder.   
"Well I do hope you have something under there.." Jesse said seductively. Pretending to lift up the sheet.   
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" James screamed in a high pitched voice and ran out of the room. "He forgot da sheet!" Meowth said banging on the floor. "Dose boxers look like day could fit a five year old!"   
"What a hott ass!" Jesse replied, flushed from laughter. James ran into the kitchen and put his face in his hands.   
"What am I going to do without pants!?" He sobbed. Despite the fact James was mortally embarrassed by his teammates, he was hungry, so he wrapped a dishcloth around his waist and began to cook eggs. Suddenly he heard footsteps coming from the bedroom. James whipped around to find Jesse and Meowth walking in. They sat down at the table, still bright red from laughter.   
"I just wanted to let you two know, that it's not nice to make fun of other people's misfortunes, even if we are Team Rocket!" James said shaking his fist. "And another thing, my undergarments are nothing to be laughed at, just because I had them since I was five doesn't mean…" James suddenly stopped as he felt a sharp pain shooting from his boxers. "MY FIERY ASS!!! He screamed "MY BURNING ASS OF FIRE!!!" Jesse and Meowth sat there confused until James turned around, showing flames making a hole into his silk boxers. "EEHEHEHEOEOEO!!!!" He screamed and began running like a crazed Pokemon. He was in so much pain he didn't realize where he was running and ran right out the door.  
"Oh Ash I'm sick of you're whining, we'll stop at the next place we come to, okay?" Misty said, sounding very annoyed.   
"But Misty, we can't stop, no matter how tired we are…I GOTTA GET ANOTHER BADGE!!" Ash screamed with delight. Brock held his head in agony…  
"Lord, take me now…" He silently prayed. "I think you can get a badge by jumping off that cliff…" Brock said to Ash, smiling   
"ALRIGHT! Come-on Pikachu let's go!" Ash said beginning to run.   
"Brock!" Misty yelled, grabbing Ash by the shoulders. "You know Ash is "special!" shame on you!"   
"Sorry, Misty." Brock said sheepishly. Just then up ahead, a screaming ball of fire came running from the distance.   
"Is that James?" Misty asked in shock.   
"Is that fire?" asked Brock.   
"Are those Weezing boxers?" Ash asked, sounding interested. Sure enough, The "EEHEHEHEOEOEO!!!!" cries told them it was James.   
"Oh my God, he's on fire!" Misty realized as he came closer.   
"Oh my God, those are silk!" said Ash starry-eyed.   
"Ash snap out of it! We gotta help him!" Misty yelled shaking Ash as hard as she could. "What do you want me to do, you're the one with all the water Pokemon!"   
"Oh right!' Misty said, embarrassed. "Starmie! Go! Water-gun attack now!" The Pokemon was able to extinguish James, but only after the silk boxers had been destroyed.   
"What a waste! I liked those things!" Ash said as he watched them crumble to the ground, in a pile of soot.   
"Jesse!! Jesse!!" James screamed, tears coming out of his eyes. "I need some pants!!" Now James had absolutely nothing on except for the top of his Team Rocket uniform, which he ripped off to cover his exposed bottom. Misty turned bright red and faced the other way, while Brock and Ash fell on the ground laughing. Jesse saw the twerps from the cabin window, and ran over to them.   
"Prepare for trouble!" She began, flashing a big smile at James.   
"And make it double…" he continued.   
"To protect my James from humiliation…"   
Too bad my pants went on vacation."   
"His bright white pants were his one true love"   
"I fit in them like a hand in glove."   
"Jesse!"   
"James!"   
"James doesn't have pants, but not for long."   
"And it won't stop me from doing what's wrong!" Meowth appeared from somewhere and said   
"Pants-less!"   
"How do they come up with this stuff?" Ash asked in between laughs.   
"I dunno, but it's sick!" said Brock, searching through his backpack. "Here." He said tossing James a pair of brown khakis. "I keep an extra pair…" he said pointing to his own. "Just in case…"   
Later that night James tried to get to sleep, but couldn't. Suddenly Jesse opened his door.   
"You looked really sexy with no pants on today…" She began, smiling.   
"GET OUT!" James yelled, throwing an empty pokeball at her.   
"Wait!" she said dodging the pokeball. "I found these in the balloon." Jesse held out James' white pants.   
"Oh thank-you, thank-you!!" He cried, giving her a huge hug.  
Come-on Ash!!! Hurry up!!" Misty cried banging on the bathroom door. "I need to get in there!"   
"Uh…Misty?" Ash said quietly. I can't find my pants…"  
  
Author's note again: HAHAHA ~ stupid right? Yea, I thought so…okay, okay we'll stick to the romance department. I just had this idea in my head for the longest time and just had to type it out, lol, I bet your thinking we have some obsession w/ guys' pants!   
  
  



End file.
